The World God Only Knows
by felixhe3x
Summary: Harem... Naruto is known as the commander of Konoha police force in the real world, but he had another identity, The Capturing God. The battle since ancient times of a man and a woman called love... but to him, it's just a game!
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto

This story is inspired by The World God only Knows by Wakaki Tamiki

Enjoy...

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"Is there really such a human...? A man who can do as he wishes with women's heart?"

"There is... and his name..."

**The Capturing God**

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A pair of deep obsidian orbs looked at him curiously. Long flowing pink hair cascaded her lovely visage. She had a soft creamy skin, tempting the descendant of Adam involuntary while gaining envy and jealousy from descendant of eve. The curve of her toned figure was something out of the world, it was the shape that only befitting the goddess

He then watched as her cherry lips parted slightly, and a melodious voice filled his ears

"Who are you?"

He smirked. The game had finally started...

The sky was already painted in vibrant red and orange of the setting sun by the time he found her. The pinkette was staring into the distance in empty the park, currently sitting on one of the swing and absentmindedly swung herself slightly to and fro. She bathed in the crimson glow of the evening and let the gentle wind caressed her silky hair, the beauty of the moment even eclipsed the heavenliness of Venus de milo

"How did you know this place?" was her timid question when she noticed his presence

_'It's useless resisting... I can already see the ending' _Because fate was, always a one way road

15 minutes later...

"I-I love you!!!" She stated passionately while blushing at the same time

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Click... click... click...

Naruto smirked arrogantly as he watched the screen of his white limited edition PFP

_'With this she will be the 1000th heroine I capture. There is no dating game that I cannot clear!!! Fufufu...'_

"So, is the game fun? Is it much more fun than the monthly's meeting hmmm...?"

Turning to the feminine voice, the blond saw a sexy raven haired woman. A Konoha police outfit hugged her sensual figure, emitting an aura sultry aura like a succubus in front of her prey. She also wore a white robe with a kanji 'Vice-Commander'. Her dark eyes fixed onto him with a hint of strictness and something that he was so familiar of. The calm generic facade was plastered on her beautiful face, the calmness that eerily similar to the calm before storm

Naruto's face turned into the look of deep contemplation

"Hmm... I tried comparing the meeting and your speech with all the games I know. There are 5012 games that is more fun, 15 games that is just as fun and 1 game that is more boring" He recited in business like tone

"Hoh..." The beauty vice-commander nodded "And... that one game is?"

"... Excuse me, please wait until I reach the save point"

Click... click... click... BAAAAMMM

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The white ceiling of hospital greeted him as his blue eyes flickered opened

"Damn that she-devil, I'm not disturbing anyone. So why was I beaten up?"

Groaning in pain, he sat up and stared outside the window

_'Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto, Commander of Division 2 of Konoha Police force, 20 years old_

_Height: 6.2 feet_

_Weight: 85 Kg_

_Ninjutsu: Excellent, Taijutsu: Excellent, Fuuijutsu: Excellent, Kenjutsu: Average, Genjutsu: None whatsoever_

_The things I like... Girls. Isn't it a bit obvious for any guy my age?_

_But...'_

The blonde shifted his gaze to the scene on the street, specifically on the scene where a short purple haired woman stalking a pretty looking male from the corner of the road

_'But even if I said women... the ones I like were not like that ones in this side!!!'_

The woman was now gliding flawlessly with the skill of an ANBU captain towards the next blind spot. Naruto involuntary shivered, he did not know who the person she was stalking but he admitted that he pitied him

_'That's what the real women really are... _

_They're violent, they're unreasonable, they're flawed_

_The ones I like are the woman from the game world!!! Real woman are just trash!!!'_

Click... Mail Mail... You have mail... You have 833 unread mails

Looking at the screen of his PFP, he smirked

_'Hmphh... So it's the letter from my lost lambs. The real world is truly negligent world'_

_**Hi!!! Oh God, I really need your heaven guidance. It's about the new Icha icha ero-game series, Icha icha Bleach. Do you know how to capture captain Unohana? Please reply, God...**_

_**Nice to meet you, Capturing God! I always read your guide and review. I have a question about the game, Icha icha Panic...**_

_**Oh Fallen God! Why can't I clear games as fast as you do...**_

_**Oh God, please tell me...**_

_'The real me who is known to everyone in the game world... Capturing God!!!_

_Yes, that's IT. The real world which is unreasonable and absurd, I have no reason to partake in it!!!_

_I am... The game world's God'_

"Hm?"

_**To the Capturing God,**_

_** I heard the story that you can make any girl fall for you. I thought it was impossible at first but if you really can, I would like you to help me with some girls. If you have any confidence that you can do so please press the "Reply" button**_

_**REPLY**_

_**Ps: If it's impossible DON'T ever press the button!!!**_

Naruto narrowed his eyes at the mail he had read, a bit miffed

_'What's this? What's with this mail that smells like provoking me?! Just who do you think I am? The God never runs away!!!'_

Without further thought, he pressed the reply button

BOOOMMMM...

A strong gale hit the room, the intensity of the sudden force was similar to Fuuton: Daitoppa no jutsu. Shielding his eyes, he watched as the wind receded and the silhouette of a petite woman entered his vision

She had a small body and a face that could easily be mistaken for an elementary school student. Her raven hair that was tied into a pony tail, a skull like accessory settled on her left side of head. Her pair of large puppy dog eyes gave off an innocent and "please protect me" aura. Her half-opened lips revealed a row of white, ivory-like teeth that, coupled with her small face, created a perfect combination. If she were happened to hold a magic wand with a shiny jewel instead of an imitation of Nimbus 2000, she might had even transformed into a little fairy!

"Thanks for agreeing to the contract, God!!! Now, let's go... let's go capture some spirits!!!"

_'Wha- what's going on?'_

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Well, that's for prologue...

If you notice, this chapter has similarity to the chapter one of World God Only Knows, but... before you all screaming "Plagiarism!!!". I assure you, the story, although still resemble the manga, will be different

So... wait for the next chapter, Stalker Ami

Also, I need your Vote!!! For the next girl after Ami you want but please... Don't vote for Koharu, Danzo or even Sasuke

Anyway, Read and review

Ciao...


	2. Stalker Ami 1

Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto

This story is inspired by The World God Only Knows by Wakaki Tamaki

Enjoy...

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"Wake up, Daddy~, Wake up, Daddy~"

A loud bubbly voice pierced his eardrums. The bed was bouncing up and down, he did not have to open his eyes to guess that a certain 5 years old girl was jumping on his bed

Naruto groaned in annoyance before peeking through his sleepy eyes at the alarm clock on the dresser

7:50 AM

"Wake up, Daddy~, Wake up, Daddy~"

The high pitched sing song tone continued to strike his hearing senses incessantly, and probably would keep on until he got out from his bed room

Akkkhhh... he really wanted to continue his beauty sleep, even though he knew he supposed to wake up before 8 AM but still, those 10 minutes were the time where he slept the best. He bet everyone shared his sentiment, right?

And what about that weird dream last night? A self proclaimed demon girl who looked as innocent as a toddler appeared out of no where and demanded him to help her capturing spirit because he had signed the contract...? Did she think this was a shounen fan fiction? He sighed inwardly, he better avoided playing fantasy genre for the time being

"Wake up, Daddy~, Wake up, Daddy~"

"Okay, okay!!!" Quickly sitting up, the blond then found a pair of puppy dog like red eyes looking at him innocently. Her chubby cheeks beamed with happiness as she found her daddy finally awake. She had a shoulder wavy dark hair, something she inherited from her mother just like her crimson eyes

"Morning Daddy..." She hugged him, her small arms enveloped around her neck while her head settles on his broad shoulder

Naruto yawned "Morning, brat"

He then grabbed the white PFP on the dresser, and got out from the bed, carrying the small girl at the same time

Yuuhi Miyu, his adopted 5 years old daughter. Someone might complained, why a dating sim loving geek like him was allowed to adopt a cute bundle of joy like her. Well, he was certain, he was not the right person to be put the blame on

Blame Shikamaru for going on a mission when Kurenai was going through the labor and he was mistaken as her husband just because that time was coincidentally his turn to watch over her

Blame Miyu for muttering Dada~ as her first word and he was, _again _coincidentally, the person who was carrying her. Just like a new born duckling recognized the first thing it saw as its mother, the toddler not older than 2 years old refused to be apart from her new toy. On that day, he suddenly discovered a new-found respect for the Virgin Mary

Blame Kurenai for agreeing the adoption, simple as that

And most of all... FUCK YOU, FATE BITCH!!!

"Daddy, are you okay...?" A small timid voice laced with worry pulled his senses back from morning drowsiness

Miyu looked at him in worry, tears were already pooling in her large eyes. Naruto realized that he somehow had stopped in the middle of the stair

"Yeah, I'm okay..."

He quickly strode downstairs. Soon, a cafe like living space greeted him. It had been 3 years since his downstairs was turned into a cafe by Kurenai, Cafe Miyu. At that time, she decided to resign from her shinobi duty to take care of Miyu. As consequences she needed different source of income and since, she stayed in his house because of Miyu... well, to cut long story short, the ex-kunoichi decided to make a cafe, and that's that. No matter what he said, she managed to outwit him... That was how scary the real woman was

"Don't play while you're eating, Naruto. You set a bad example for Miyu" Ah... speak of the devil

Her tone was calm but there was an underlying warning in it. Raising his head from the screen, he found Kurenai glaring subtlety at him

"Yes, mom..." Naruto replied sarcastically, drawing a giggle from Miyu who sat beside him

The blond downed his cereal. It was good, the crunchiness of the wheat and the freshness of the milk suited the mood in the morning, though not as good as ramen

"So, how's work, Naruto?" Kurenai tried to start the conversation

"It's okay... Same old, same old... nothing serious from the report I've read" His Kagebunshin who read it to be exact but she didn't need to know that, what she didn't know won't hurt him, right?

"Oh, that's good... that's mean you're doing your job, right? You're not just using clone and playing games all days, hmmm...?"

"O-of course, I'm working..." He looked at her accusing gaze nervously "... ahahaha..."

Kurenai smiled and nodded "By the way, I heard from my regular customer that a certain commander was admitted to hospital..." He gulped as she tapped her chin with her long forefinger in contemplation "... it was sometime around the time of the monthly meeting yesterday, you wouldn't know who is he, would you?"

_'Damn that She-devil Nikaido, it must be her...' _"N-no, I don't really know who he is, I didn't really pay attention yesterday, ahaha..." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck anxiously

"Oh..." The red eyes beauty expressed a mock surprise look "If you didn't pay attention during the meeting, what else you might be doing...?"

_'Busted...' _A trail of sweat dropped from his forehead. So this was the feeling of a rat in front of a python, he wondered

"You're not, for instance, playing your blasted games again, right? RIGHT?"

Naruto, of course, could only gulped the lump in his throat and silently praying that someone, anyone, anything came for the rescue

"Mommy..." A small cute voice called

"Yes sweetie..." Kurenai adverted her gaze to the girl beside him, smiling

_'Nice timing, Miyu... You're the best daughter ever, my sweet angel. I promise I'll take you to the ice-cream parlor later' _He silently cheered

"... what's pussy?" Miyu asked in her usual innocent tone

His jaw dropped and hit the floor while Kurenai simply asked "What do you mean, honey?" Though her twitching eyebrow and tensing body were saying something

"Here..." Miyu raised her small hands and showed her mother the SCREEN OF HIS PFP, Naruto's breath was caught in his throat "It's said here " Yeah, right there... ah.. ah... oh... my pussy is melting... AHHHH" See? What's pussy, mommy? Why's she saying ah... oh...? Is she hurt?"

_'I take my word back, you Brat!!! Are you trying to kill me here?' _Naruto nervously took a glance at Kurenai, she was sat there in dumbstruck

Ding Dong...

The door bell rang. Ah... divine intervention. It sounded like the heaven's bell to him "There's someone at the door. Don't worry, I'll open it"

Not waiting for answer, Naruto quickly rushed towards the door and opened it

"Please take responsibility!!!" A dark braided haired woman with skull-like accessory on it bowed to him "Please take responsibility!!!"

"H-huh?" She somehow looked familiar. The broom she held reminded him of something

The woman raised her head and looked at him. Tears were flowing down from her eyes, staining her childlike face

"W-who're you?" He managed to find his voice

"God, you don't forget about me, right?"

"Your explanation shall I hear it?" A calm, cold and dark tone asked from behind him

Reacting solely on basic survival instinct, Naruto quickly held the shoulder of the distraught woman in front of him and shunshined away to his office. As soon as he arrived, he rushed towards the door and locked it

_'Remember, remember the process. As long as I think of something theoretically, there should be no problem' _He then turned to face to the woman and calmed himself "Let's organize ourselves. First, who are you?"

The woman wiped her tears with both hands before looking at him and producing a 10000 watt smile. He was thinking of going to ophthalmologist later, just in case her bright smile tempered his sight

"My name is Elsea de Lute Irma" _'Weird name' _"Everyone call me Elsea!!! I'm a demon from hell that was dispatched as a part of 'Soul Collecting Forces'" Elsea said in childlike tone

"..." _'What the hell is this about? Think theoretically, Naruto. If a woman from 2d approaches a wise man...' _He turned around and unlocked the door. Opening the said door, _'In time like this, it's good not to get closer to her'_

He was about to step out of the door when he felt a light tug on his shirt "Please be careful... your head will be taken"

Turning to her with the look of confusion "Head?"

Naruto instinctively reached at his neck. He found something that should not be there. An invisible black collar materialized around his neck

"Wha, what's this collar?"

Elsea grew silent for a while "God, you have made a pact with the demon" A strange expression was plastered across her visage "The contract papers were sent to you, right? They were sent by my chief Dokurou-san"

"..." His blank face suddenly struck with epiphany _'I-it's that strange mail?!'_

"The contracts with demons are very strict so please be careful. If you do not follow the contract, or discarding it without approval..." Her tone darkened as she proceeded "That collar will be activate and your head will be... taken"

Naruto could only stared at her in suspense

"An-And after that your head... KYAAAA!!!" She suddenly shrieked "I-I can't say it!!!"

"Say it!!! What will happen afterwards?!" He sweatdropped at himself "Do-Don't screw with me!!! Take this DAMN COLLAR OFF!!!"

Elsea recoiled in surprise before smiling gently at him "It's okay... it would be taken off if you help me collect spirits"

BIIP... BIIP... BIIP...

Her skull like accessory suddenly rang and glowed brightly like an alarm

"I-it's here..." She said and hastily ran towards the open window

"What happen?" Naruto followed her, a bit worry seeing her tense body

Without saying anything, Elsea grabbed his hand and flied outside the window to a roof on the building not far from his office

"There's a spirit here..." The woman said while looking around, not minding the fact that they just flied

"There!!! That purple haired girl at the corner!!!" She pointed at the said girl

Naruto widened his eyes at seeing the direction of her finger, the purple haired stalker... "T-tell me, Elsea. What's this spirit collecting thing about?"

"The spirits we are talking about are the spirits of evil people that have broken out of hell. Even if evil people die, they are still evil people. They broke through the boundaries of hell to spread their evil deeds here on the surface..." She explained "These spirits are extremely hard to catch. After a through investigation it was discovered that they're hiding in a unique place... The depths of the heart, that is where the spirits hide themselves"

"... eh? The depths of the heart? There's no way you can catch something like that, right?" _'And why do I going with her story?'_

Elsea nodded and smiled "For that the humans called baddy come, but if you can capture the heart, then the spirit will lose its place to stay!!!"

Pumping her fist into the air, she then said exuberantly "That's right!!! The best way to capture someone's heart is love!!! With the Capturing God's power, please capture the girl's heart!!!"

His mind boggled "W-Wait!!! Wait, Wait!!! You're asking to make a _real _girl fall for me?!!!"

"Eh, well... that's about it" She blushed like a certain Hyuuga "Um... if you say it in a level that the mouth can express..."

"I-Idiot!!!" He bellowed "You guys are making a big mistake!!! I WON'T EVEN HOLD HANDS WITH A REAL GIRL!!!"

She hiccuped "T-that's cruel... that's cruel, God. To think that you're actually the God of Games..."

"Who's the cruel one here!!!" He retorted

"W-who would have thought that it was like that... I'm really bad at anything I do... sob..."

"It's a misunderstanding in the end!!! Call off the contract now!!!"

"Sob... I'm sorry, I can't do that. I-I also have the equivalent of the contract. If-if the one who agreed to the contract dies, the demon in charge's head will also be taken... sob... B-but at least..." She gave him a sad smile "I will die with you"

Naruto flushed at her word

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They both sighed and stared at the floating cloud above dejectedly

Picking out a notepad and pencil, Naruto scribbled something in the notepad with serious look

"What're you doing, God?"

Scribble... scribble... scribble...

"I'm writing down the games that I'll have to play before my head is taken..."

Elsea seemed hesitant "But then... Isn't you still the Capturing God? Why don't make real girls fall for you like you do in game?"

"Don't put real girls and the girls in the games at the same level. That would be rude to the girls in the game" He gave her a hard look

The demon sweatdropped "B-but that's the game and the reality shouldn't be too different..."

"Hnn... the real girls have no sense of perfection..." Naruto snorted derisively "The girl in the real world, I have no interest in capturing them... just look at her"

The purple haired girl was currently peeking from the corner. She was wearing a mini skirt and a tank top, showing off a bit of her pale skin

"That's not how a stalker supposed to wear!!! She should wear a long sleeve jacket and a tight pant... It's unacceptable!!!"

"It should not be exactly like that, right...?" Elsea tried to mediate

"Wrong!!! In the game, that's the spirit of a stalker!!!"

POOF

The stalker was now wearing exactly what he imagined, causing her to look at her self in confusion

His jaw dropped, he then shifted his eyes to Elsea

"I-I made my robe transform and fly there..." He now realized there was a long, loose robe floating around her like the one in the Miyu's picture book he'd seen once "If it's only physical appearance, I can change that but..."

"But the only one who can change what's inside is you, God!!! I-I believe in God!!! Let's do this!!!" was her spirited speech

And that speech moved something inside the Capturing God

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To be continue...

Read and review


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